“Love²”                                                    May 2, 2010
John 13:  31–35                                      The Rev. Dr. Deryl Fleming

Following the lectionary can be like time travel. Four weeks ago we celebrated Easter. In today’s gospel we are back at Jesus’ farewell gathering with the disciples.

However, “Love one another as I have loved you” is a text for all seasons. The heart of the gospel is, “You have been loved, pass it on.”

Extroverts are made to connect with other people and they know it. Without people around, my daughter gets quickly bored. She needs people just to listen to her because she has so much to say. And she would tell you that.

Introverts are also made to connect, but those of us with big introverts in us can forget that if we go into our caves with an engaging novel or a laptop in our hands. When I was a full time pastor, I went for a week most years to Holy Cross Abbey, a monastery in Berryville, Virginia, where even the meals are taken in silence. A parishioner asked, “How can you go a whole week without talking to anyone?” Not a problem for me if I have a briefcase full of books.

Another reason for Jesus commanding us to love one another is the American ideal of rugged or smooth individualism. In Eastern cultures people define themselves by the ties that bind them to family and others. In the Western world we are more likely to define ourselves by an over and against mentality.

Interestingly the US has one of the highest rates of depression and other mental disorders. On the other hand, Nigeria has one of the world’s lowest rates of depression, despite dehumanizing poverty, a serious AIDS epidemic and ongoing civil strife. One person who knows some Nigerians thinks the explanation is their sense of community. “They know they need one another. They don’t have the luxury of trying to live life solo, even if they have the inclination to do so.” (Gregory Boyd, “Christian Century,” May 19, 2009, p. 21)

Jesus knew and the early Christians new how much they needed each other. Thus the new commandment, “That you love one another.” We spend so much of our lives trying not to need each other that some of us have to learn late in life how to ask for help or even to receive it. After I preached a sermon on “No One is an Island” a teenager said, “Maybe there are no islands but there are a lot of skinny peninsulas.” So many are barely connected. I had worked at a psychiatric hospital about two years when it occurred to me that most of the children, adolescents, adults and pastors I saw were as plagued by their loneliness as by a psychiatric disorder.

In his book The Great Divorce C.S. Lewis envisions hell as a realm in which people are forever moving away from one another. “Hell is the ultimate, cosmic suburban sprawl” (Boyd, above). I had the privilege this week of sitting by an 87 year old black woman. Her father, a native of Arlington, following service in World War I went to Howard University, planning to be a pharmacist. He got his degree but because he was black he never got the opportunity to practice. She told me about her being arrested twice during the Civil Rights Movement. We talked about her church and about our first African American president and the fears around that. She said, “Someday we’ll all be together. “When we all get to heaven,” I said. She smiled.

“As I have loved you.” The Greek language has four words for love:  eros (sexual passion), philia (deep friendship), storge (familial love) and agape (God’s kind of love). Agape is to will the good of the other, come what may, whether the other deserves it or not.

P. D. East was a Mississippi journalist and skeptic who was intrigued by a renegade Baptist preacher Will Campbell, who was involved in the Civil Rights Movement and at the same time self-appointed chaplain of area “red necks.” East began hanging out with Campbell and one day challenged him to define the Christian message in 10 words. Campbell resisted doing so. East offered the challenge until Campbell finally said, “We all bastards but God loves us anyway.” East said you have two more words. Campbell stayed with his answer.

If you find Campbell’s assessment of human nature too grim, just remember that he is a Baptist. But Presbyterians are pretty strong on sin too, total depravity and the like. In any case, I suspect that every person in this room needs to hear that you are loved anyway.

Among the many informative and inspiring stories around our 30th anniversary celebration one of my favorites was told me over coffee. In Roxanna’s sermon she had referred to a miracle in the early going, getting Presbyterians to knock on doors, distribute leaflets and invite people to church.  One member of our congregation told me that he was involved in the miracle. He went with great apprehension to a door, knocked and was met by a scruffy looking man who didn’t look happy to see him. He introduced himself and said, “I’m from Burke Presbyterian Church.”  The man replied, “Thank God. I was afraid you were my parole officer.” I asked John if the man ever came to church. He said he didn’t think so. If he had come we would have tried in word and in deed to say to him, “you are loved anyway.”

Sometimes being loved by others is the best or only way to know God’s love. Jesus said to the disciples, “You can’t go where I am going but you can be united with me if you love one another.”

In Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s Life Together, a classic on Christian community, he talks about Christians needing to encourage one another in the life of faith. If our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts. (I John 3: 20) Sometimes we need another to remind us of that.

Nicholas Wolterstoff has written about his grief over the death of his 25 year old son in a mountaineering accident (Lament for a Son). He said at the funeral “the community’s actions and symbols spoke as much as the words. The cloth placed over the coffin was simple but wonderfully beautiful. Nearby the burning candled symbolized the resurrection. The opening words recalled Eric’s baptism. The music was glorious. They celebrated the Eucharist, the sacrament of God’s participation in our brokenness standing in groups around the coffin, as we gather round this table. He said the service did not console him for Eric’s absence but “it sank deep into me the realization that my son’s death is not all there is.”

Never do I sense the presence of God more than when the people of God gather at a funeral to put our arms around each other and to say in song, in prayer, in sermon, “Our help is in the name of the Lord … God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth move, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar with their tumult… The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.” Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.

Asked if Jesus Christ was his personal savior, a monk said, “No, I share him with many others.” It is with each other that we gather with all who will at the table of our Lord to receive the gifts of God for the people of God.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  Amen.